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Boundaries expert and licensed therapist, Nedra Glover Tawwab, has helped thousands of people reclaim their sovereignty by setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care to feel safe, seen, and secure by those closest to them.
It’s harder said than done. Often our default setting is centered around a destructive cycle of fulfilling obligations, making assumptions, and people-pleasing. Although cutting the cord and learning how to say no can inflict a sense of shame or guilt, boundaries are a crucial expression of self-worth, happiness, and fulfilling relationships.
We chat about the different ways you can vocalize your needs and expectations in everyday life and how her brand new NYT best-seller, Set Boundaries, Find Peace, offers a step-by-step roadmap to creating boundaries and finding personal freedom.
Nedra is a therapist and saw a common thread of her clients having trouble making and keeping boundaries in relationships
Boundaries are parameters you set with yourself and others, they can be verbalized or shown by taking action
You can't assume that people know your boundaries, sometimes they don't know what our expectations are and it's okay to share
Try sharing boundaries by just giving a 1-2 sentence direct statement, adding too much context can muddle our boundaries
Setting boundaries when you have kids includes choosing habits and routines that engage your energy and carves out time to take care of yourself
Structure your nourishing routines around when you have the most energy, whether you are a morning person or more of a night owl
Lack of boundaries can lead to anxiety if we're consistently putting ourselves into circumstances we don't want to be in
Enmeshment is when there are no differences between two people in a relationship, and any differences might lead to problems. Nedra works to encourage families who are experiencing this to celebrate and nurture personal differences
We can't make people do anything, but we can be direct and change our own patterns to protect boundaries and honor our energy
Preventing burnout means being aware of our boundaries and learning to stick with them and saying "no" sometimes
Read: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
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Be Well By Kelly is a production of Crate Media